Who are you in my silence?

In my silence, in my solitude, in the fathomless depth of my subconscious mind, in my companionless walking along a desolate road you come time and again. Your presence is well felt without any figurative body. Not even a shadow of yours is ever visible to me. But how strangely I am closely associated with you in my senses and feelings I fail to understand. You are mysteriously very much concerned with all my movements and whereabouts. Sometimes I try to draw a picture of you in my imagination. Those attempts have never seen the light of the day. The more I say please leave me alone, the more you come to me with invisible intimacy. You try to appease me in my restlessness. I feel your words of consolation, but fail to translate that into language as your language of communication is Greek to me. Communicating language perhaps matters very little because there is a strong sense of attachment, not to be overruled by any sense. So I search you every now and then in mist but you remain ever unexposed. Your hallucinating guidance often compels my line of action to be changed. I run into perplexity with confusing approach. Your presence is very much acknowledged in my silence. Why does it come upon as a way of renewal in course of my life it is really an illusion giving no explanation at all?

At times a moment appears in everyone’s life when silence is more aloud in complete muteness. Then he wants to lead a life in perfect isolation. Just at that moment of such mental set up of mine you come upon in my feeling with certain obvious message. You create huge rolling waves one after another in the still sea of my thinking. Sometimes you dictate me to dream of beauty in truthfulness. Sometimes you strangely advise me to remain passive in ultimate passiveness. Sometimes duration of my muteness is lengthened and it is none but you to hold the responsibility of this. It is you who transforms my life in striking contrast. I feel every now and then your tremendous influence on me. Yet it is unspoken to me who are you in my soul with no allowance to unveil you in perfect composition.

In the grazing field of my mind certain unworldly conversations flash upon as the lightening. These conversations are translated as ultimate wailing in my mind. I am searching you in all my earnestness. Are you a dead soul or anything mysterious spirit by character? Does your existence over spread in infinite horizon? I also want to move towards infinity because I am always averse to captivity. Two identical particles moving towards infinity under the attraction of some forces must meet a day with no room for dispute. This is inevitability.

There is no secrecy in our private life. Secrecy is a word to be exposed a day. You have touched my mind in ultimate softness. You are just like a star studded night sky with prevailing mystery. The silence of night is always appealing. But unfortunately it does not last long. So you can never conceal you forever. Union of ours is simply a time bound assignment.

You loved me once. It had no impurities. But it did not last long. Perhaps separation was the only reality. But I did never dream that it would have been the permanent separation. Incidentally that happened leaving me in the lurch. I became pathetically alone in this world. But you did not think of that even the least.

You are my love and you loved me once like frenzy. I was completely mad in love with you. That love was pure and divine. Some scrupulous forces snatched my love from me. Since then I am in complete desolation. I have now recognized you. You are also running in bereavement. So you come to me in my silence. I want have a reunion with you. I can do it as I believe so. Heave sake, wait for me. I am coming and coming with a crash of all boulders of separation. I am sure to recognize you, But if you don’t, please identify me with deep wounds of love.